New and Improved

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I promise I will write about something else soon. 

Things feel weird. My equilibrium is off. I've never lost a loved one and no matter what anyone says, my dog was a loved one. I'm in pain. I'm lonely. I lost my best friend. It's acute and real and worse than I thought it would be.

That being said, I feel like I can't talk about it too much. A really good friend of mine didn't call and speak to me after it happened. She sent a text, but didn't think to call and just say "I'm sorry you're going through this and I'm hear to talk." Isn't that what close friends do? And when I mention that I'm really sad about it the response is always "I don't know what to say." Say "I'm sorry your dog died. I wish there was something I could do." Instead, it's so obvious she'd rather talk about the fucking high school bbq that she went to over the weekend. It sucks to be let down by friends, to feel like they don't care, especially when it's someone you really count on.

People keep asking whether I will adopt another dog. I could not be more torn. I miss having a furry little one to hang out with and kiss and love. I miss all the walks and the closeness. That being said, for the past 3 years, I have not been able to come and go as I please. No impromptu overnights. Drinks after work was even difficult. The chance to be gone from the house for hours and not feel guilty is appealing.

Clearly, I'm not over Milo (it's only been a few days), but I'm not sure if I could love another one. Something tells me I can and will. Just not yet.
Posted by Kristen @ 9:11 PM

Comments:

First, your grief is legitimate. Milo was the focal point of your life, you loved him and you miss him. Some people might think that "just because he's a dog" that you should get over it quickly, but it's not like that.

When my mom died a year and a half ago, one of my friends (now ex-friend) Molly sent me some lame e-mail about how she hoped I was drowning her sorrows in a glass of beer, then went on to babble about some stupid crap going on in her life. I wrote her off after that. Her true colors were obvious to me.

I HATE it when people say, "I don't know what to say." It's such a cop-out and it leaves me feeling really disappointed in the person.

i just keep thinking about when Cali died in 2003, after we had been together for seven years. I wanted to get another cat right away to erase my pain, but I read somewhere that you should allow yourself time to grieve and honor the life of your deceased pet.

I didn't mean to ramble on. I just want you to know that I can kind of relate to what you are going through right now. Your feeling of loss and grief is as real as someone who lost a human family member. If people don't understand that, then it's their problem.

To be perfectly honest, the loss of Cali was much more upsetting than the loss of my mother.

Anyway, if you ever want to get together (no pressure) just let me know...
By Blogger JL, at 10:43 PM
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